Castle Rock State Park, August 2021

 My maiden backpacking trip!

I found a beginner friendly backpacking trip announced in a meetup group - Take a Hike, all women's group and decided to take the plunge. I was still very worried about my ability, I had walked around the block a few times with my new backpack Ruby, whom you will meet in this post. Beyond this, I had done no hikes with my pack, having just returned from our Yellowstone vacation. My worry was thankfully not greater than my interest to step into my first backpacking trip, and so I signed up.

Did I feel insecure and like an imposter? You bet!

Right until I met the other ladies at the carpool location, I questioned my decision, was sure I would expose myself as a fool, and be unable to complete the trip. However, the women in the group could not have been more welcoming. Charity, the leader of the group was absolutely kind and inclusive. I must admit that I started feeling at ease when I encountered one other woman who was also on her first backpacking trip, and she had not even packed her backpack! 

In this group, I meet women of all ages, shapes and sizes. My misgiving that backpacking is not for me due to being petite was thrown away when I saw women much smaller than me, and so much older too! The group ranged in age from mid 20's to well into 60s!

My pack weighed close to 30lbs at home, and at the trailhead we were told that there was no water at camp and we had to fill up. So on my very first backpacking trip I had a pack weight of over 30lbs!

Meet Ruby!

The climb to the campsite, which would have been between 3-4 miles, was a struggle. I was determined not to be the slowest in the group and pushed myself to a good pace. I was not yet comfortable with Ruby, especially in sections where we had to climb over rocks. I felt like I was teetering on a moon like surface. I didn't stop to take photos, didn't chat with the others, focussed on completing the hike, and I did!

It was with a feeling of elation that I lowered my pack and began to setup camp. For the very first time, I had carried my home and everything else I needed on my back. Home for the night was in this gorgeous park and only people permitted were the people who had worked hard to get here. What a privilege I felt!

I learnt to use the camp stove, filter water, took notes of other people's gear, made a mental wish list, but mostly made tea. I had taken fancy T2 teas and offered to brew them for everyone in the group. This was a great group, everyone had brought some food to share, conversation was flowing easily and I made friends. This was my tribe, if that's what I wanted. 

My benevolence in tea making meant that I was soon out of water and we had to hike a long way out to fetch water. I learnt lessons, not only in collecting water, but also in being prudent with the water supply while on a backpacking trip. 

That night was supposed to have meteor showers and Castle Rock was supposed to be a great site to watch. But soon after dinner, which was an REI de-hydrated pack of something not memorable, more shared snacks and chatting, I crawled into my tent and had a deeply contented sleep. Weather was so good that I didn't need to use my rain fly and the gorgeous tree canopy and night sky were available to me anytime I open my eyes. 

That's my home!

My humble abode

The hike back was much easier, with the confidence that comes with having spent a night backpacking. I returned home with a deep sense of pride, accomplishment, limitless possibilities and serenity. I was a backpacker!!!

Before the beginning

 At the time, I was a 40 something, 52Kg Indian woman, with the typical Indian upbringing. Meaning to say, I grew up as an over achieving nerd, over achieving where academics or career was concerned, but intimidated by everything else. Strength and workout were not part of my vocabulary until my late 30's when a torn meniscus and knee surgery gave me the required momentum to begin working out and taking care of my physical self.

I was and am a nature lover. Nature is so beautiful, always there and always giving. I feel a profound joy, serenity, and sense of accomplishment in nature. Since moving to California in 2015, I have been fortunate to be surrounded by hiking trails and that's where I am almost every weekend. 

I always thought backpacking was the ultimate extension of hiking, absolute bliss to be outdoors without a constraint to be back in the car and home for the night. However, backpacking also meant carrying everything you need on your back, knowing how to set it up, being relatively alone in nature, being self reliant and a lot of other things which were intimidating.

Around this time, I met a colleague, an Indian woman in her 20's, who had just returned from a solo trip to Patagonia. A lightbulb went off for me. Is it possible? Is it allowed? For an Indian woman to go on a solo backpacking trip? Or even go on a backpacking trip at all? Where did she get the courage to do this? How was she able to? Talking to her, I uncovered some resources. 

Sierra club offered backpacking classes, where they conduct classroom sessions in which you learn about gear, and ends with a one night backpacking trip that they guide. This was just what I needed! I signed up as soon as the next class schedule was opened, but unfortunately, this is when COVID hit. The class format was changed to online, and the actual backpacking trip was not offered. But still, the class did wonders for my confidence. For one, no one scoffed at me wanting to try backpacking, which I totally was expecting. Oh how much I felt like an imposter! 

The first major hurdle on the way to backpacking was the weight of the backpack with gear. The recommendation is that one must aim to carry not more than 20% of one's body weight, which for me is under 25lbs. It's no big mystery that if you want to carry a tent, sleeping bag, stove, food, fuel, clothes etc etc, it will be difficult to fit it into 25lbs. Sure, if one went the route of ultralight backpacking gear, this may be possible, but ultralight gear is much more expensive than the regular backpacking gear, and needs one to know how to repair gear, and I was not willing to commit to this.

The second hurdle was my own physical strength. I consulted with a health coach and put in place a plan to enhance my strength. I splurged on weights at home, and even started training with a fitness trainer from India (Love you Jagjot!), online, 5 days a week. I was soon able to see some muscle definition and started to believe that what I thought was unattainable was actually possible.

Around this time, I came across the book Wild, by Cheryl Strayed. I devoured the book during my walks during the pandemic. What struck me was how Cheryl seemingly started off with no backpacking experience, not even camping, to successfully navigate the Pacific Crest Trail. A voice in my head started believing that I could do this too.

On my birthday during the pandemic, I visited REI in a very indulgent mood and came home with the backpacking bundle, and placed the order for 3 different backpacks to try out. This was the solution to the third hurdle, which is that you cannot begin backpacking unless you have all the gear, and making the commitment to buy the gear not knowing if this hobby would stick was daunting. REI's 1 year return policy gave me the push to make this splurge.

Now that I had the theoretical knowledge, gear, a little more fitness, I was ready to go. But how? Where? Who with? I chanced upon a Women's only meeting group called "Take a Hike", and they had announced a beginner friendly backpacking trip to Castle Rock State Park. With no small trepidation, and feeling like a total imposter, I signed up. I took the plunge! Leapt the leap!

A huge shout out to the backpacking gear industry which makes this accessible to so many people. Wearing a 30 pound backpack, when it fits right, can be no burden at all, thanks to the engineering that's gone into the design and materials of the bag. I believe Gregory was the first company to make backpacks specifically for women, with broader hips and narrow shoulders. The Sawyer Squeeze filter meant that I can filter water with no technical knowledge, and it's so affordable too. The MSR pocket rocket is not only tiny and robust, it's so cute too - everyone gushes over them including my mother and mother-in-law. 

I've mentioned coming across books, people, groups - I want to take some credit here and acknowledge that I actively sought out all that I needed to make my backpacking dream a reality. I could have been waiting a lifetime, but without being proactive, working on my strength, asking people for more information, I would still be waiting. It is imperative to create a conducive environment, choose your tribe and develop a can-do attitude and I'm happy and grateful for support from friends and family that enabled me to do this. I vividly remember a bike ride with my friend Padmini, where I was telling her about this crazy scheme of mine to try backpacking, hoping that she will knock some sense into me and tell me to drop it, but she gave my half formed scheme the validation of a friend!

And so we are at the beginning, almost :)